Smile with Harry BoBo

Harry Lee Sidney Smith, born 19th July 2016 at 11.10am, weighing 6lb 2oz.

Harry is our second child, we were already blessed with a beautiful little girl, Brooke Rae Smith. Brooke was nearly 2 when Harry eagerly came into the world. Due to complications when Brooke was born (an entirely different birth story!) meant that Harry had to be born by elective cesarean. We were booked in for Thursday 21st July, but I started with contractions Monday afternoon (in Tescos again….same place as with Brooke! There must be something about me and supermarkets! Neither of them ever liked shopping much!) My contractions came stronger and closer together throughout the evening and by about 1am, I said to my husband (SOD this! Why the on earth am I putting myself through this, when I have to have an elective cesarean anyway!?) So we called our close friend Emma and she came over (bleary eyed) but very quickly at 2am, to look after Brooke. We live in a lovey Surrey town called Haslemere, and our closest hospital is in Guildford, but due to the complications when Brooke was born there, we decided to have Harry in Portsmouth.

Once we arrived (the roads were so quiet at 3am!) we were met by a lovely midwife who examined me. As it was the middle of the night and they had no reason to suspect Harry was in any distress, they decided to wait for the new and ‘refreshed’ team to deliver Harry by cesarean in the morning. So I had a long night of contractions to go….great…so no sleep for me then! (or Lee!) We were in this together!

The following morning, we were told we would be taken to theatre soon, but it wasn’t until about 10:45, that we were eventually taken down. I was very apprehensive and nervous, as I had already had a traumatic experience with epidurals, but thankfully this was a spinal, so it was a much thinner needle. Once I was numb (a very surreal feeling!) it was only the matter of 5-10 minutes, and our beautiful baby boy was placed in my arms. He was crying, but as soon as he heard my voice and we touched our lips together, he stopped crying. He knew who I was and the love I felt for our gorgeous baby boy…. well there are no words. He was just perfect. 

Love is love and it overspilled for Harry unconditionally. You never quite know if there is room in your heart to love another baby as much as you love your first born…OH MY GOODNESS….THERE SOOOOOO IS! Your heart just grows, your love grows…..what on earth was I worried about??! How lucky were we, to have a beautiful little girl and now a little brother for her. So incredibly precious.

I will never forget the moment we touched lips. This was our first touch together and little did we know, it would be our parting touch 23 months later…

Once we were in recovery, the surgeon told us that they had expected to see my waters and cut through them to deliver Harry. But, there were no waters left at all and we had no idea? He was very dry and we were both in real danger of sepsis if Harry hadn’t let us know he had to come into the world today. Thankfully he and I were ok, but Harry was very dry, and he did have a little scratch across his nose, where the scalpel had nicked him. From that day on, we had to moisturise him from head to toe and he peeled like he had sunburn for the first 3 months.

The next day, Brooke came in to meet her baby brother! She doted on him from the first time they met. She really is a mini Mummy and adored her baby brother so much. The bond they had blossomed and as Parents, we couldn’t have felt more blessed and proud of our little family. We really did know how lucky we were. 

This is my story as a mummy and our heartbreaking loss of our little Harry at the tender age of just 20 months and 18 days old.

My blog is to help myself and all that have lost a little one, and like me are trying to make sense of a senseless world. For those that need hope in adversity and looking for positivity when facing despair….I really hope we can help each other.

We might even be able to have a giggle along the way… Harry had the BEST giggle I have ever heard, so cheeky and full of mischief! Harry’s smile would light up a room, brighten any cloudy day…you couldn’t not smile with him! Everything was funny to Harry, he was like a little sparkler that lit up every morning!

This is us….Mummy, Daddy, Brooke and Harry. We love you to the moon and back, our ‘blue eyed baby boy.’ I hope you are playing in the stars, sliding down rainbows and sleeping snuggly in the clouds.

Forever in our hearts and thoughts.

Mummy xx